Welcome, Sock Enthusiasts, to the Committee of Conundrums, where the most pressing issues of our time are tackled with reckless abandon and questionable judgment.
The Sock Squad Leadership subcommittee is tasked with setting standards for the deployment of our beloved socks. But, let's be real, we're still figuring it out as we go.
Below, you'll find the Sock Deployment Standards, a living document that's as slippery as a greased-up Chihuahua on a treadmill.
Article 1: Socks must be deployed in a manner that maximizes their ability to be seen and appreciated by all.
Article 2: Socks shall not be worn with sandals, unless in a pinch (see Article 3).
Article 3: Socks are permitted with sandals if the wearer is experiencing an unexpected and uncontrollable urge to dance.
Article 4: Sock deployment must be accompanied by a minimum of two hours of contemplation, during which time the wearer is encouraged to ponder the meaning of life and the importance of proper sock pairing.
Want to get your hands on the latest Sock Deployment Standards document? Click here to access the latest edition!
Need to report a Sock Deployment Emergency? Click here to contact the Sock Deployment Emergency Response Team (SDERT).
Want to propose a new Sock Standard for consideration? Click here to submit your idea!
Or, if you're just here for the free snacks, you can click here to access the Sock Squad Snack Bar.